Welcome: 6:15pm

Hi and welcome everyone!

  • delighted you're all here

  • time an effort

  • hard to do something for yourselves, Especially mums

first time we're running this so,  little bit of leeway if things aren't going 100%

Flow of the eve:

  • readings, poems, stories tonight

  • workshops that you can partake in as much as little as you want.

  • paper and pens just here in this basket for everyone to just grab whenever you want

  • coffees, teas and cakes the whole night. Feel free to get up at any stage. we want we want this to be really flowy, so if you need a cup of tea and a cup of coffee, some fresh air, - get up and get it.

Trigger warnings:

ALSO  if the topics get too much or something is triggering you so welcome to step away outside...

 

Little intro

I'm Eliane from The Sane Mama

  • Nature workshops in the Dublin Mountains for mamas

    • step off the hamsterwheel

    • breathe

    • rediscover some parts of ourselves

Tonight dream for a long time - wanting to shine a light on unspoken, buried, hidden stories of motherhood for a while because when we do that we realise we are not alone, and we are not broken, the system is...

ICEBREAKER - Would you rather... 6:25pm

  • ... have a clean house, clean child, clean hair - choose only 2 because trying to achieve all 3 is insane!  Discuss your choices with the person next to you/ people around you

  • show of hands for choices

MY story 6:35pm

  • struggled a lot with maternal anger and rage, quite consuming

  • And then one day, I had a vision (not a good one) It was just a split second. It still haunts me to this day. A flashing impulse... an urge to do something unspeakable to my child. I was so shocked... but I buried it down. Never told anyone. Until months later, for some reason I told my friend, one of my best mom friends, She's here tonight. And then something amazing happened. she held my story, recognised it, and told me hers back. And it was such a relief. It was this amazing feeling of realising that I'm not alone, I'm not the only one...

  • I actually think every mama in this room, every one of you, has these stories. HAs lived through these moments.

  • So I wanted to recreate that feeling for other mamas. To release the shame and the carrying of these stories. And the shame, the guilt, the grief that goes with that. So that's when InSane Mama Moments was born. And That's why it's called InSane moments, because they make you question yourself. And your sanity.

That brings us to THE BOX 

Insane Mama Moments Box:

  • There is a box set up over here

    • release your own insane mama moments ANONYMOUSLY

    • pre-printed cards to fill out, if you need more please staple an A4 sheet to it

      • tick box if you want to help other mamas by sharing ANONYMOUSLY

    • scan QR code to follow your story - news will be emailed

    • might be turned into an exhibition/ website/ podcast / own channel on Insta.

      • SO if you are ok with your story ANONYMOUS to be shared to help other mamas shine a light and bring out of the darkness, please tick!

 

To start:

  • So starting off our stories - reading from Lucy Jones's eye-opening book 'Matrescence' - do read it if you havent! - (with her full permission)

  • first time that I read a story in a book with immediate recognition... of the INSANE MAMA MOMENT

 

Lucy Jones QUOTE/ STORY

One winter day, while pushing my daughter in the buggy up the hill to our house, she had a meltdown. It was pouring with rain and she didn’t want to be in the buggy with the rain-cover on. I tried carrying her but she was very upset and flinging her body around, as toddlers do. We were walking next to a traffic jam of cars, windscreen wipers moving furiously, headlights wiggling in the rain. I felt observed, ashamed that I couldn't control my daughter. I needed to get her home and out of the cold and rain. “Why am I so shit at this??,” I thought. I was sleep deprived, lonely and stressed; frightened of the proximity of the cars and her wriggling free and running into the road. I decided to strap her into the buggy and march quickly home, out of the rain. It was horrible to use force to strap her in. I used the way of talking I was learning. “I know this is horrible for you. You are feeling very angry. It is so horrible to be in the rain. I can’t let you hit me. But we are going to be home soon.”

The screams and thrashing continued, and I suddenly had a vertiginous (vetitschinus) moment, a rising in my body. I had a very fleeting urge to use physical force to make her submit, to slap her or hit her. I reeled away, sick to my stomach. But the thought stuck with me like a thorn. I couldn’t believe I could consider hurting my beloved child. I had never before felt the urge for violence within me, apart from towards myself.

It rocked who I thought I was.  

6:45pm

Breathe - Break -

... And this is the crux of it - "It rocked who I thought I was." -

And THATS where Matrescence comes in...

    • The knowledge that becoming a mother is A rocking. A shapeshifting. An explosion and questioning .. of who we thought we were.

  • Have you heard of Matrescence before?

    • 80% of mums I surveyed last year didn’t, yet they’ve all been going through it!!

  • Dana Raphael coined in 60's - forgotten - Dr Aurelie Athan brought back into discourse more recently

  • What IS Matrescence?

    • Physical - Hormonal - Spiritual - Psychological - Financial - Emotional - Social - Biological - ....

    • show pic, explain and mention one example for each section

  • Nugget: Brain rewiring when you CARE for a child (not just in biological mothers and also seen in fathers, carers) …

  • What could it mean when we realise we are not going ‘insane’ , that we are not broken, that there is a reason, or many, why we have been feeling the way we do going through motherhood… sometimes broken, overwhelmed, angry, or like we are grieving something...

Then over to Marci...

Psychology of Matrescence 6:50pm

Introduce workshops 7:10 pm

What is running where, for how long etc

Eliane's workshop: 30-40mins - start 7:15pm!!!

  • Welcome, this is a snippet of my 3hrs immersive Forest Walkshops - next one on 19 OCT in Cruagh Woods so if you like this make sure you sign up through QR code at bottom of handout page!

  • meditation to arrive in the moment, in our bodies

    • sit crosslegged and feel ground through sitbones, roots growing down etc

      • Arriving in the Circle and ourselves

      • Find some space, loose circle with the group.

      • warm up the body—rolling your shoulders, stretching your arms, slowly circling your neck - loosen the day from your body

      • Now let’s come into stillness. When you’re ready, close your eyes. Hands apart, bring them together. Rubbing them until you feel heat. Place your left hand on your heart, and your right hand over it. Take three deep, breaths— Inhale... and exhale... Let your breath soften your whole body.

      • Begin to connect with the rhythm of your breath. Feel the air move in through your nose, filling your lungs, and gently out, leaving your body.

      • And with every inhale, imagine you’re drawing your breath from Mother Earth beneath you, up through your feet and legs like through the roots of a tree. She is giving you life, and energy, love.

      • And now, With each exhale, imagine you’re breathing out —up towards the clouds and the sky. Let go of anything you carried here today, everything you needed to organise to be here, any thoughts or to-dos, anything you need to let go of. 

    • Do another breath like this – inhaling through Mother Earth, exhaling into the sky…

    • As mamas our minds tend to be scattered, to stretch in a hundred directions. We feel like we’re torn into a million different pieces. So now, imagine gently gathering yourself back together— all the pieces of you, call them all home., like a puzzle fitting back together into ONE. And now relax fully into this moment, just as you are—today, in this time, in this body. As a woman. As a mother. As a whole human being.

    • You are home.

    • And when you're ready, begin to come back to the present moment. Gently wriggle your fingers and toes. Open your eyes, slowly.

  • Selves exploration:

    • explain concept

    • Anything creative to accompany like drawing, painting, natural accessories

    • then writing

  • Kundalini shoulders exercise: shake out, move the stories and the trauma and stuck energy

  • If anything they REALLY want to let go of - InSane Mama Moments box!

RESET- COME TOGETHER - Lily's poem - 8:00

Lily's workshop:

  • small meditation - 3mins

  • Share between 2 and 3 about their moments - 5mins each, then swap

  • anyone wants to share with whole group?

leading to ...

Q&A with Marci - Focussing on support 8:25

  • 'What do you wish you had known going into Motherhood?'

    • Through the Matrescence lense, what would be helpful

  • 'If mamas are having a hard time, what can help?'

    • Even other people, how can they help, going broadly on system and society

    • or immediate world

  • Remember here MY tools:

    • Language for your journey

      • Matrescence/ Maternal Anger/ Mental Load

    • Nature / your Senses as your Healing Friend

    • Journaling for Reflection/ Integration

    • Emotional tools - Meditation- 5 Senses - Awareness

    • Physical tools - Kundalini yoga - workouts & Exercise you find FUN

    • BIGGEST: honest conversations - stories - community!!!

2nd workshop block - 30-40mins 8:45 - 9:25pm

 

Releasing/ Healing ceremony 9:30pm

Closing Meditation

  • sit comfortably in your seat

  • close your eyes if you can

  • bring hands in front apart, then slowly together to bring left and right brain sides together

  • rub until you feel heat

  • left hand on heart - right hand on belly, 3 deep breaths

Welcome Back beautiful, Mamas,

We’ve moved together today, through our stories, our senses and selves , our words, our bodies, through our own Matrescence journeys…

I want to take a moment now to honour this, you are so brave. in coming here, in making time and space for yourself, in trusting us, in trusting the process.

We honour your journey.

You are alive. You are growing, always, every day. You are enough. You have always been enough.

Sit tall - Feel your power. Feel your strength.

You are the mothers, the life-givers, the nurturers, the carers. And you are also the girls, the daughters, the teenagers, the women ... they are all still in you. Remember these other Selves if they serve you, and remember you are allowed to be whoever you would like to be.

Now, gently bring to mind a moment from this evening that moved you — in any way. Maybe it was a word, a feeling, a memory that came to you.

Anything at all. Let it rise in you and offer it your gratitude. Release it. Thank it. Let it go.

(Pause for 10–15 seconds)

And now, imagine the women around you — in this space - each on her own journey, but not alone. Each with her own joys, her own pain, her own struggles and anxieties, each on her own path of becoming and unfurling.

We honour each other.

We see each other.

No fixing. No comparing.

Just presence.

Thank you!

calm song for end - Catch & release? We can do Hard THings?

THEN:

Dancing? - Pink song? Loud like love Placebo? Something from my playlist?

 

Celebrate collaborators - light on their work and how to meet/ follow

 

Mingle - wrap up - music - story writing time - etc